Monday, December 21, 2009

low batteries

Today I felt like I needed a battery recharge, and was just never able to get myself out of the little red area that shows the battery is about to die. Ivory put forth a good effort to help me kick the funk, and it did help for a while (thanks, Ivory!) but a frustrating drive across town sent me right back into the low battery zone. I feel like I spent all day yelling, I had NO patience for Landon's usual million questions, and poor Coleson pretty much got ignored all day because I was so focused on not losing it completely.

I have been reading a good book called Raising Your Spirited Child, which I am very much enjoying by the way. Part of the book has you assess yourself to help you determine how you will relate to your child. The little assessment reminded me that I am an extravert. Essentially, I gather my energy from interacting with other people (um, other adult people I have come to realize). I have been taking time to knit in the evenings or read a book, but that doesn't quite do it for me the way a good talking session would. In the last week, with Tyson being really sick and me caring almost 24/7 for the kids and him I have had almost no social interaction. Most days I usually at least get to interact with Tyson when he gets home but last week he has been too sick to even get out of bed let alone have a real conversation. And that has really taken a huge toll on me.

I have arranged to have playdates and such for the next few days, so we can get out of the house and not kill each other and I am hoping it will help my mood. I guess now I know that I can't just hole up in the house. I need to get out and spend time with friends. It's been a hard lesson today, though, because I feel like the biggest mommy-failure for yelling all day and slamming a few doors. Oh, well. Thank goodness there is a tomorrow.


Ivory said...

Oh man, I hoped your afternoon would pick up. We had a great time today, and you'll be proud to know i am STILL in my pajamas. Oh yes. You are welcome over any time, and i am looking forward to living around the block. xo

hannah said...

Oh, Sarah, don't beat yourself up. It happens to all of us, more than I'd like to admit. sickness throws such a wrench into life. Ugh. Hang in there momma, and steal some time with adults. {{{{Hugs}}}}