Monday, December 21, 2009

low batteries

Today I felt like I needed a battery recharge, and was just never able to get myself out of the little red area that shows the battery is about to die. Ivory put forth a good effort to help me kick the funk, and it did help for a while (thanks, Ivory!) but a frustrating drive across town sent me right back into the low battery zone. I feel like I spent all day yelling, I had NO patience for Landon's usual million questions, and poor Coleson pretty much got ignored all day because I was so focused on not losing it completely.

I have been reading a good book called Raising Your Spirited Child, which I am very much enjoying by the way. Part of the book has you assess yourself to help you determine how you will relate to your child. The little assessment reminded me that I am an extravert. Essentially, I gather my energy from interacting with other people (um, other adult people I have come to realize). I have been taking time to knit in the evenings or read a book, but that doesn't quite do it for me the way a good talking session would. In the last week, with Tyson being really sick and me caring almost 24/7 for the kids and him I have had almost no social interaction. Most days I usually at least get to interact with Tyson when he gets home but last week he has been too sick to even get out of bed let alone have a real conversation. And that has really taken a huge toll on me.

I have arranged to have playdates and such for the next few days, so we can get out of the house and not kill each other and I am hoping it will help my mood. I guess now I know that I can't just hole up in the house. I need to get out and spend time with friends. It's been a hard lesson today, though, because I feel like the biggest mommy-failure for yelling all day and slamming a few doors. Oh, well. Thank goodness there is a tomorrow.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

one of those days (a venting post)

Today was one of those days where nothing went quite as planned.

Tyson woke up this morning really sick and spent all day in bed. Therefore, I spent all day trying to keep the kids quiet and happy.

I did get some holiday baking done with Landon while Coleson napped, but then Coleson never took an afternoon nap and spent most of the rest of the day overly tired because of it.

We went to playgroup, but then had a hard time with Landon's behavior and instead of feeling relaxed and refreshed from time with good friends, I left feeling stressed about disciplining my three year old and how I could have handled it all better.

Came home from playgroup to a husband still in bed, dinner to be handled (called the in-laws to bring over food - bless them!), and tired kids to put to bed. Since Tyson was completely non-functional, I had to do bedtime alone, which I hate. The overtired little ones stayed up until around nine, even though their usual bedtime is between six-thirty and seven, and now that everyone is sleeping but me I just can't wind down and get myself to bed.

Ugh, days like this go against all the hard work I put into establishing a good rhythm in our house. And I really think I notice the deviations more than anyone else. It's amazing how one or two little things that are outside our norm and really just mess it all up. Oh well, tomorrow is another day. Hopefully one where things go as planned!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

so much to do . . .

We had so much to do today, yet most of it got done. Thanks in a huge part to Landon spending most of the day with grandparents, and Coleson taking an almost four hour nap. Both of these things were completely unexpected, but a wonderful treat. I started the day with a huge to-do list and I finish it with a little bit of sewing and other fun crafting to accomplish.

My brother and his best friend were here for dinner. Greg is in town visiting, and it was so nice to see him. I do hope he moves back to town with his family when his four years in the Marines is up. It would be fun to get to know him again as an adult.

I think I might go on a knitting fast for the next week or two in order to get a few other projects done, including that darn stocking for Coleson. I don't know if I can handle it, though. Knitting is such a relaxation thing for me. Maybe if I drink enough coffee and wine I will survive.

Sorry for the randomness of the post. I have been reading through the archives of this great blog and I really love it. I feel like it has inspire the tone of this post. Maybe I would post more often if I only needed a nice picture and a few words.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Thankful

I know I totally missed posting for Thanksgiving. And I decided that was ok. But I certainly am thankful. Especially for two wonderful little boys that make me laugh at least once a day. Check out this video. The beginning isn't the most entertaining, but the last few seconds are so cute I couldn't resist posting it.

video

Also, I am feeling way too overwhelmed by the holidays this year. I think part of it is that it seems too early to be December already, so I am having a hard time convincing myself that Christmas is really soon. It still seems like I have so much I want to do to make the holidays just right and I feel like none of it is coming together. I love the idea of an Advent calendar, complete with coupons for meaningful family activities. In reality? Landon has absolutely no interest in it, Coleson doesn't even get it at all, and Tyson could care less. I also want to have Coleson's handmade stocking finished, and perfectly awaiting Santa. Reality? I hate the stupid thing (a kit that involves WAY TOO MUCH embroidery) and don't want to ever work on it, making it nearly impossible to have it finished in less than 22 days (I am on piece number 15 of about 100 and I have already spent about six solid, two hour long stretches on it - UGH!). It will be beautiful when it is done, but for right now I am so sick of it. I guess he won't notice if it's not done by Christmas morning. Right? And, I wanted a beautiful tree and lights up all over the house and all the Christmas decorations to be just so. The reality is that I tell the boys not to take ornaments off the tree about 50 times a day, I spend way too much time putting back up the lights that have fallen down from around the windows, and I still have boxes of Christmas decorations sitting on my dining room table because the places I want to put them will not stay clutter-free for more than about 20 minutes. I guess I need to resign myself to not having the holidays be just so until the boys are a bit older, an age where at least they don't try to eat the glitter off the ornaments. I am just having a hard time realizing that it's ok if it's not all perfect and exactly how I picture it in my head. But that is always a hard thing for me.

Anyway, back to the thankful. Sorry about the long rant in the middle. Maybe I need to go watch that video again.